Chase It Down

You don't run from your future, you run towards it.

Sometimes facing the inevitability of our future is scary; so we avoid it by holding on to our present - anything that may provide comfort. We fight change, or more importantly we make decisions to avoid our destined outcome. We seek solace in the things we feel we can control. All of that present comfort prolongs the joy that lies waiting for us.

I was reminded lately how we continually prioritize people and things in our life ahead of our creator. Personally I find myself reaching for God, but I'm stuck in the realm of worldly perspective. I continue to prioritize relationships and activity above my creator. And when those things end in a catastrophic let down - I"m drawn back to Him because I know that He will never fail me. It makes me ask the question if our faith (or at least my faith personally) has become some type of safety net. God will continue to draw us towards Him. What is unfortunate is that more often than not it takes pain to get our attention. That thought alone creates within me a deep sadness. In this world so dominated by status - how can we continually remind ourselves that God's grace alone is enough?

In the book Radical by David Platt, he points out early in the book that we are molding Jesus into our image... Platt describes this as:

"A nice, middle-class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism, and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, he loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid danger al together. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American Dream."

I don't point this out because I'm looking at others, but that I'm looking in the mirror. I'm not pointing fingers, but to stand up in recognition of my actions... not just my beliefs. I've always said that becoming a christian was the single most difficult decision I could have made. The reward makes it easy, but it is the commitment that is required that makes it so challenging. Which is exactly why fighting the present is so damn hard. We are creatures of comfort. We seek solace in areas of this world that create distance from our creator. And we fight like hell to remain in a state best described as average. We aren't unhappy enough with our life to change, but we're not truly filled with joy... so we fight and struggle and claw to get ahead - which seems to look a lot like keeping up with our neighbor.

God is holding something wonderful, more than can be imagined. Running from that future is not the solution. If we are to find true joy, it is going to take more than just being comfortable and hiding in the present. It is going to require that we run, no, we need to chase our future down, because what God has prepared for us lies waiting. And what lies waiting cannot be measured in our own worldly terms!

The Irresistible Revolution

"Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member. Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier. Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual. But the one who has love, courage, and wisdom moves the world." ~Ammon Hennacy (Catholic activist. 1893 - 1970)

Someone once asked me about my choice to follow Jesus specifically in the context of following the crowd, or subscribing to the norm. Without being defensive and without sounding offended my response was this: Being a christian and following Jesus has been the hardest decision I've ever made, but also the most rewarding.

I recently started re-reading The Irresistible Revolution. Below are some things that have stood out and stirred emotion. I just want to share. No commentary, no other thoughts, just sharing. I encourage you to read, and reflect on what I'm sharing.

... Spiritual Bulimia. Bulimia, of course, is a tragic eating disorder, largely linked to identity and image, where folks consume large amounts of food but vomit it up before it has a chance to digest. I developed the spiritual form of it where I did my devotions, read all the new Christian books and saw the Christian movies, and then vomited information up to friends, small groups, and pastors. but it had never had the chance to digest. I had gorged myself on all the products of the Christian industrial complex but was spiritually starving to death. I was marked by an overconsumptive but malnourished spirituality, suffocated by Christianity but thirsty for God.
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"Its not the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that scare me, but the parts I do understand" - Mark Twain

Only Jesus would be crazy enough to suggest that if you want to become the greatest, you should become the least. ... And then I met Jesus and he wrecked my life. The more I read the gospel, the more it messed me up, turning everything I believed in, valued, and hoped for upside-down. I am still recovering from my conversion.

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Two guys are talking to each other, and one of them says he has a question for God. He wants to ask why God allows all of this poverty and war and suffering to exist in the world. And his friend says, "well, why don't you ask?" The fellow shakes his head and says he is scared. When his friend asks why, he mutters, "I'm scared God will ask me the same question." Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the Spirit whisper to me, "you tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet."

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"We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it." - Mother Teresa

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"Very truly I tell you, all who have faith in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." - John 14:12

... what had lasting significance were not the miracles themselves but Jesus' love. Jesus raised his friend lazarus from the dead, and a few years later, Lazarus died again. Jesus healed the sick, but they eventually caught some other disease. He fed the thousands, and the next day they were hungry again. But we remember is his love. It wasn't that Jesus healed a leper but that he touched a leper, because no one touched lepers. And the incredible thing about that love is that it now lives inside of us. In the verses just after the one about the greater things. Jesus assures us that the Spirit now lives in us. Jesus says that he is going to the Father but will also remain inside of us, and we in him. We are the body of Christ, the hands and feet of jesus to the world.

Affirmation

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. ~ Robert Fulghum

While in church yesterday, I had somewhat of a realization. I realized while singing, that I was not only in worship but in affirmation. (Some of you reading are thinking, “well...duh!” but I had never put it into that framework before.) An affirmation is an action or declaration a person may make in relation to conscience. Many of us daily will constantly make affirmations to ourself. Most of them are unconscious while some have purpose, either way they continue to affirm the things we believe - whether we want to or not.

Among other things, music does that for us. Affirms our beliefs, our ideas and our feelings on a certain topic. The reason certain lyrics speak to me in worship is the same reason others will be welcoming when I’m experiencing a broken heart. Think about it, if only for a moment, music is one of the few mediums that can change our mood in a matter of moments, regardless of our activity. Think about the music you listen to when you’re running, or doing something active, or when you’re trying to stay awake when you find yourself driving a car late at night. Now think about the music you listen too during dinner, or winding down, studying, reading, or perhaps when you’re sad or upset. The music will reaffirm a feeling we desire to feel. Now you’re thinking who wants to feel sad, why would we want to revisit that particular state of being? Maybe you’re recovering from some great love affair, maybe you’re remembering a lost friend or family member, maybe the song reminds you of an old pet. Listening to the song may bring some longing, but it also reaffirms that the time spent with that person was one worth remembering. A moment yesterday where time vested was worth the sadness you may be experiencing today.

So what does this mean for me? It means that I must create a thicker filter. Not to keep myself from experiencing sadness, but one that ensures growth, one that leads to positive experience. I’m not just referring to music and the songs I listen to, but also the environment I find myself spending my time. If our thoughts have an unconscious impact upon our lives, I want to ensure that mine will be productive and positive. Today I must take steps that will promote the growth God has in store for me.

Last Night

I'm lying here with Dodger, knowing I need to write, but feeling like I'd rather put my words elsewhere. I haven't blogged much lately, probably due to the fact that I've been writing a lot for Grad School, and even though there is a ten page paper waiting for me to complete before turning it in tonight, I find myself plunking away here. Oh, the things we do to avoid the inevitable! Things have been whirl-wind like lately, between work and the holidays, and trying to stay on top of all things marked with a priority sticker, I feel as if I need to re-establish, reconnect and review all those things that keep me in my daily grind. you know? Ever feel that way?

Last night was a weird night at work. a lot of things happened that, well, normally don't or shouldn't happen. But from time to time I get a chance to dive into faith and have a meaningful conversation around it, and last night was one of those nights. I do get to witness almost daily when I'm working, but I often don't get a person's undivided attention. Its not often that someone places the present entertainment on hold to talk about God with me. Last night, if for only that reason, was a good night. And last night I gained some ground connecting with an individual. Last night, I hope was the start of something new.... and last night a corner was turned and a new beginning realized.

Personal Faith Statement

Just felt like sharing. please feel free to comment.

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Before this class, I had never truly given much thought to creating a statement clarifying my Christian faith. And even now, although I am more knowledgeable concerning specific areas of study, I still feel as though I am unable to draft a statement to the capacity in which seems complete. That being said, I believe the Bible is the word of God. Scripture is my historical reference of God’s purpose and is completely true and accurate. I believe in an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-present, constant and eternal God. I believe Jesus is the Son of God, and that he is my vehicle to salvation. I believe that the Holy Spirit serves as my connection to faith. I believe that God is represented in these three distinct entities, all three independent but completely whole as one. I do believe that I was created in the image of God. I believe I am living abnormally apart from God in sin. I believe that one day I will walk in the presence of God and find myself rejoicing completely and eternally. I believe I am a member in a community of believers both local and global that are committed to serving his purpose. Individually, I know that I am here on earth as a tool to be used by God, for God’s purpose. I believe that my desire will sync with his purpose, which will create works that will glorify God.

Writing all of this, I know I am incomplete without God. I know I am still learning and growing and exploring areas of my faith. I know there is much ground I have yet to cover. But I know without God as my compass, I’m running on a treadmill – going nowhere fast, expending energy, it seems, just to expend energy. God is my compass; he is my foundation, and my purpose. Without him I find myself wanting, with him, I find I am complete, I am whole.

Dating with a Purpose

Ang, a very good friend of mine re-posted this and I feel compelled to share. At first, when I started reading, I thought that I may have to alter it to gear it towards men, but quickly realized that it already is. For me, as a man, it wasn't so much a wake-up call, but more of an affirmation and a reminder why I don't settle... and why it is I continue to wait.

It may be similar for you. And if any of what is written below sparks any interest. I've read several books, including a few by Joshua Harris that you may find appealing.

SPIRITUAL ADVICE ON MEN (for the ladies, but men can read to)

A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one?  Simple: You take only the bus that's headed in the RIGHT DIRECTION.


First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?", you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and
beyond cure.

Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right directions:

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
(Proverbs 4:23). Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.

Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is in the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts:

1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14). You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day today. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married.

Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the
bus & wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22). Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it:

"We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker.

Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, checkout the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complementary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have?


If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man?

Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.

Hebrews 11:1 & 6
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."

basically... I'm due.

so here I go again... trying to place random words together in a way that makes sense. All the while trying to make sense of this world filled with opportunity, serendipity, and confusion!
I've been busy, too busy... so busy that the last two weeks feels like a blur. I get days confused, activities accomplished mixed up, and those I interact with daily look at me with awe... awe in the sense that its not good... awe in the sense that they think I'm crazy!! Basically, I'm trying to make ends meet... I just don't know where they begin and where they end. I'm attacking each day with an end goal, a light at the end of the tunnel... I have ideas where I want that to be, but I'm truly unsure of the path I will end up on, or if the things I'm doing will take me there.

Which brings me back to the moment. This moment. A time where all the little things seem to add up to one big one and I can only hope...

So as I stand here wanting, waiting, anxious and driven... I still feel the need to focus and to
re-commit daily to the things I desire.

My buddy asked me yesterday what I was quitting for Lent. I told him that I hadn't really thought about it. I knew it was Ash Wednesday had passed, and I knew it was lent.. but for some reason, I spaced the purpose. And in recent years, I've decided not to take away from my life, but to celebrate Lent by adding to it. Although I understand the idea of fasting... and I do, and will... I've decided that its just as important to add value by adding something productive, something purposeful to the time. When we take something away, there is a tendency to replace it with something else (example: when people quit smoking, they start eating..)... so why not add purpose?
So... for Lent this year... I've decided two things. And based upon my lifestyle at the moment, these will be very difficult, but rewarding. They may seem at first glance superficial, but I tell you... it will require some divine intervention to maintain! I will be fasting from all fast food, and I will ensure that I exercise daily, regardless of how tired, busy, or lack of time exists in my day. I will reward and treat my body as I should. keeping out the bad and rewarding it with good.

Any thoughts?

How about ya'll? Anything you'll be doing different during Lent this year?

next best thing

I feel broken... I feel empty.... There is a longing in my soul that yearns to be fed. In my heart I know where to find the source that will satisfy, but its almost as I'm resisting--afraid of what might be. Afraid of where the road will lead. Its as if by hiding I create in my subconscious further opportunity for the earthly desires I look for. And by constructing these walls around my heart, around my head, I'm keeping myself from the growth I long for deep within myself. The growth that can only happen through complete submittal. I know this, and I'm trying to let go, to move on, to find fulfillment. But it seems that I've been granted a preview of what is to come. A taste, an idea, an opportunity to see what God has planned for me. And instead of allowing myself to prepare for His vision, I hold on---hoping that the best hasn't passed me by.

The thing is I'm not upset or angry or confused or bitter. I just am. I'm just present, patiently practicing patience, trying to stay open and prepared. but for me, right now in this moment, the next moment can't get here soon enough.

The Clock Has Struck 12...

As I look at this glass slipper I'm holding, I know she's out there. I know that as I look at my reflection tilting the slipper from side to side, I begin to wonder if I'm ready, truly ready, for the woman God is preparing me for. I know that I may not be the man He continues to challenge me to become. I am persistently patient, anxious, and excited. It's past midnight and I stand in reflection on the proverbial steps of life; I'm okay with waiting. I'm accepting that God has something wonderful prepared for me, and when I become ready, He will present opportunity in a way He deems fitting.

Its not that I'm wondering why or when or how, but its more along the lines of whether I'm worth what this slipper represents. I'd like to think that I emulate these prince-like qualities; I'm realizing more and more that I am not the man I am going to be. As I bow my head on bended knee, I realize that God is at work in my life. I stand, look up and smile, and with gratitude, I know good works are occurring.

I know that there are experiences I can only pursue with Him as a single man. And He knows me better than I could ever know myself. Knowing that I desire more than anything to be a loving husband and father, in large part to better understand His love for me. I think that as Christians, by having our own children and loving them beyond what can be expressed helps us to understand how He loves and cares for us. I feel that step -- building a family -- creates in us opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with God. Not only does He want that for us; He continues to prepare us for when the time will be right.

As I continue to pursue with a single heart, I look forward for the fitting.. For the woman that God is preparing for me. And when the time is right, when the moment comes, I will love and honor God by loving and honoring her.

Rocky

Last week I went to Rocky Balboa, When I was watching it, I couldn't help but think about Sly's real story. It is the story of Rocky. In the movie, Rocky is telling his son about how Life will beat you down, how it will continue to hit you hard to keep you there. And no-matter how hard life cuts you down you just have to keep getting up. And through that process, you will find out what you're made of and who you really are.
Throughout this movie, i was thinking of Sly's story. Most of you probably already know that he wrote Rocky. But did you know where the story came from and how it came about?
Sly, who always wanted to be an actor, was living in NY at the time. He wanted to act more than anything. He was so persistent that he had visited the agent's offices around NY six and seven times each. He finally got his first acting job because he wouldn't leave the guys office. After sitting all day waiting, he persisted in staying the night... he wasn't going to move without leaving with something. Well... the guy came back to the office the next day and gave him a job. He was in a movie for less than thirty seconds where he got beat up. If that isn't a sign of not being wanted I don't know what is... but Sly knew what he wanted. He knew his outcome. throughout this process, he was broke. He had no money and refused to get a job because he felt it would take away his hunger for achieving his dream. It got so bad, that he actually hawked his wife's jewelry... which inevitably was the end of their marriage. But the lowest point was when he had to try and sell his dog- His best friend in the world. He stood outside a liquor store trying to sell him, he couldn't take care of himself let alone his dog. Finally a guy offered him $20 for the dog. Sly didn't have much of a choice and took it.
Shortly after that, he's at home watching a fight between Muhammad Ali and some white guy named Wepner. Ali was beating this guy down, but Wepner just kept coming back, taking blow after blow, refusing to go down. He got an idea and started writing. He wrote Rocky in three days. He then started to try and get the movie produced. No one wanted it, they said it was too sappy, wasn't real, no one would want to see it... but Sly persisted. Finally he found two guys who loved the script and offered to buy it from him. But there was a catch, Sly wasn't selling the script without Him being the main character, Rocky. After much debate, they made a final offer of over two-hundred thousand dollars for him not to star in his own movie. Thats a lot of money for anyone, but we're talking about a guy who is practically living on the street, who frequents libraries just to stay warm. A guy who had to sell his best friend for twenty bucks so he could eat. Sly's response: not without me, I'm Rocky. So finally, they agreed and offered him $35,000 and points in the movie for him to play Rocky. So what do you think Sly did after that? He went back to the liquor store and hoped that the guy who he sold his dog to frequented the store. After three days, the guy came walking in. After the guy refused, because he liked the dog and it was his now... Sly continued to up the ante... and he wasn't going to stop until he got his dog. Sly ended up paying the guy $15,000 and a part in the movie to get his dog back. Pretty cool huh? It gets better... after they won the oscar for best picture, in his acceptance speech, Sly read what all the critics had said about the script, and why it wouldn't make it. Talk about sweet revenge... or karma... take your pick.

So as I was watching Rocky Balboa the other day, all I was thinking about was the trial and tribulation it took for Sly to get what he wanted. How I felt like I was watching in a lot of ways, an autobiography.

The next day I watched Invincible. (do you think I was needing some motivation?)
What I found interesting about these two stories (Sly and Vince) is that they both used the negative critic to achieve. That they were driven by the non-believers. They both had their support groups (Vince and his bar buddies, and Sly and his dog), but used the negative as fuel to create something positive.

As I sit here today, I don't know what my life will bring, but I hope that I can have a fraction of the drive, motivation, integrity, loyalty, humbleness and courage that these two individuals have shown. And regardless where I end up, I know that my path will be built on character. It will be God-willing, and I will be gracious in my endeavors. I just need the courage to continue to get back up after each life-altering blow I may receive.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Its a time to rejoice, a time with family, a time of year where the world pauses, if only for a moment, to celebrate the birth of Christ.

this year, as I removed myself from the chaos and distractions of all that goes on this holiday season, I realized that today really isn't completely about Jesus at all. Its about us. It is about you and I. Jesus was and continues to be our gift, our promise from God. We are His children, and as John 3:16 states, He gave us His son, so that we could have eternal life. How the familiarity of that verse becomes amazingly mundane, but still rings true with excitement.

Think of it this way. Although I don't have any children in my family at the moment, I did have an opportunity to see it through my work...just a glimpse... but.. Think about when you celebrate Christmas with young children. If you were to ask any young child what they're excited about, what would their response be? They look forward to the presents. They get excited about the packaging, tearing it off with anticipation just to see what hides beneath. And you can just see the excitement exuded from them. Its infectious... and it gives us, the giver, joy to see that. God is our giver, and we are the young children receiving the gift. He delights in giving to His children... He gets the ultimate reward in giving, and we get everlasting life through the sacrifice of His son.

Today, as I celebrate the birth of our Savior, I lift up a praise of thanks for this wonderful gift I've been given.

Merry Christmas!

Only a Man

I love this song. I can't stop listening to it. And well... a repost is in order. I hope you enjoy the lyrics as much as I do.

I used to live my life in fear, was worried all the time
From waking up to lying down, I had no peace of mind.
The world became a darkened place, a struggle without end
Although bitter times those were, the days that I became to understand
I was only a man

I grew up singing songs in church with questions in my mind
And turned my back and ran away from God who gave me light
Then one night, his presence fell, I wept and shook and then
I fell down and cried dear Jesus rescue me again
I understand I am only a man

And He said:

What will it be now?
Will you choose me or keep swimming upstream now?
I've been inside your head hearing you scream out
Well here I am just take my hand and
I'll take out all of the pain and all of the fear
All of the fear

I give you my burdens

I'll give you peace

All of my desires

I'll give you what you need.

And what about these chains Lord

I'll set you free

But they're so heavy

Lay them at my feet.

I'll lay them at Your feet
Just promise You won't leave

I'll never leave

So where do I go from here Lord?

Just follow me, Just follow me.

I'll follow You, wherever You lead
Wherever You lead..

Repetition

Repetition is the mother of skill. Through practice we develop certain skills that help foster talent. But the great thing about the development process, is that we are allowed to make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with new opportunities. Opportunities that will lead to greatness...

Lately I've had to field some question on the history of my relationships. The most interesting part of this is that under quote-on-quote "normal" circumstances, these things don't necessarily come up. The question of the previous-said slash previous-feeling is somewhat new to me. And honestly I bring it on myself. Although I feel I come by it honestly, I get it. I do, I get it. How can I be sincere, how is it that certain feelings can appear repetitious? How can the excitement of something new come across in a manner that appears to be so much more?

I'll just pose one question to you before I go on. Have you ever in your experiences felt you were in love, and then in retrospect realized that it was masked by some other emotion or feeling? Or perhaps you thought you were traveling down one road only to realize you were on a completely different one, in a completely different place?

Personally, I haven't ever used the term without being in complete congruence of the definition. Even after looking back, I can honestly say that when I decided to love, it was true, it was honest. BUT, I have looked back at some relationships that I thought were headed in that direction and realized I had been fooled. I had been crawling through some desert long enough that the mirage looked real. Dramatic I know... but I think once we experience something great, we can't wait to find it again.

So... back to the issue :) I walk into anything new with fresh eyes. No lingering pain, no hesitation, no fear of getting hurt. I approach every relationship with one primary vision, and that is to view this person as a sister in Christ. And to provide the opportunity to develop into what God has planned for me. In the past, I have confused this desire for something great with the process of learning about someone. And although I hate to admit, I have made mistakes. I will always choose to fail over not trying. Can you fault me for that?

I'm starting to ramble... the point is this: I learn from my mistakes. Yes, I've said and felt things that have passed. Some faster than others. But what I am now realizing is how lack-luster those things were. Not to take any of it away from the relationship, but there is a reason those are history... and will stay that way. I've found that through self reflection and devotion, that none of this will compare to the woman God has prepared for me. What is important is that He has prepared my heart for someone special. He has done this primarily through the mistakes that I have made. I cannot regret, for it has brought me to something wonderful, something beautiful. It has brought be to today. But if I do not learn from those experiences, my wheels sit spinning.

My desire is to move forward. To grow, to be challenged, to create, to love and to be loved. I desire greatness. Greatness for myself and the person God will provide for me. Through the repetition of my failures, I have found what I have always desired. And through those mistakes God has helped shape me. He has shown me resilience and patience, and creativity in otherwise mundane circumstances. I truly believe that the 'mistakes' that I have been granted have prepared me for someone special, someone I hope to spend my life with, someone I desire to create in her all the things she provides for me...

Where We Go From Here...

"Anger and Resentment can stop you in your tracks. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life it swallows and smothers. Its real though...the fury... even when it isn't, it can change you, turn you, mold you and shape you into someone you're not.

The only upside to Anger then, is the person you become. Hopefully, someone that wakes up someday and realizes they're not afraid of its journey. Someone that knows the truth is at best a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits. And in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm..." ~The Upside of Anger

In tough times of life we find what we are really made of.
Isn't it interesting how we seem to grow most from and learn most from our so called failures. We may see them as a step backwards, but God may see it as a step in the direction he'd like us to be. We get angry, upset, and experience a flurry of mixed emotions. We are challenged. We are challenged by ourselves and those we interact with. I've experienced little anger...in fact, a little is still lingering, however, I think its helped me to realize some things. . . .

The trial is a test of your faith, character, and endurance.
This adversity has dropped in my lap to challenge me, strengthen me, sharpen me, keep me fresh...keep me alive and active and growing. It is pushing me to be my best...to test my faith, character, and endurance. This is an opportunity for promotion. Without the resistance of air, an eagle can't soar. Without the resistance of water, a ship can't float. Without the resistance of gravity, I can't even walk.

Adversity often pushes us into our divine destiny.

Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Leadership

As I dive further and further into my own leadership style...if you would like to call it that...I'm learning that the deeper I dive, the more I must rely on God. What I mean is, that He has shown us time and time again what leadership is and should be, and how our work is affected by it. For example, the Bible does not give priorities on the various types of stewardship or work. In fact, most of the heroes in the Bible are people called to secular vocation. To piggy back on the writings of Dennis Bakke, he highlights a few things in terms of our work: (1) in seeking holiness and honoring God, we are called both to steward resources to serve people's physical needs and also to spread the story of redemption and other teachings of Jesus. While we as church goers may place an emphasis on evangelical association, little evidence bears that this is a higher calling than the work of managing his creation. (2) Nothing is more important than a person's coming into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. (3) Being called to work in a secular organization is no better or worse than being called to work in a church, a para-church org. or an institution run by Christians. God may call us to work for Him in any of these settings, regardless of our occupation and particular talents. (4) If I see my work as a mission for God, my attitude and behavior at work are likely to change in a markedly positive way.

People often shift into positions of "sacred" from "secular" by operating their own nurseries, schools, social services, and charities. By doing so, they are inadvertently aiding those who would keep the church out of the public square. They should be encouraged to switch back or to maintain their position in these secular schools and companies where their faith may have a bigger impact.

"give something back" is another phrase thrown around by business leaders. It is a concept as flawed as "success to significance." Giving something back assumes I took something I should have while working. Certainly this would not be the case if I saw my business as God intended it, a stewardship ministry to serve the needs of others and, in the process, my needs as well. Stewarding resources to meet needs of others is a legitimate "giving" activity. "giving back" is relevant only if I have misappropriated and mismanaged the resources I have been given to steward.

The creation story does not assign people, even leaders, the responsibility of "managing" other people. The Bible says that people are to have dominion over the animals and plants. It encourages humans to act as stewards for the world we live in. It does not, however, encourage us to dominate other people. It never classifies people as "resources." The Bible does endorse leadership. What is the difference? Biblical leadership requires those in authority to serve the people they lead. Leaders do whatever it takes to allow followers to use their talents effectively. Thus, good leaders delegate decisions and create an environment in which others can manage God's world. God allowed human kind ot make the ultimate decision of life. He gave us the choice to acknowledge and follow God or to reject Him. We were created in God's likeness as moral beings with the ability to reason, make decisions, and be held responsible for the consequences.

So...how does this all transfer into organizational decisions in the "secular" world? This is very difficult to understand. There is a dilemma of a leader who, on one hand, is given authority over the entire organization and, on the other, is supposed to refrain from making decisions that others in the organization can make. Leaders do have the authority to make all decisions and direct all actions. Leaders are responsible for all that goes on within the organization. There is, however, no requirement that leaders make all or even most of the decisions for which they have authority. God could certainly control His creation through micromanagement, but he chose to delegate most decisions to us. Where God tends to take action is on matters of morality and questions of right and wrong. Shouldn't we follow His lead when we decide which decisions to make and which to delegate? God created humans in His image. We are to be creators like Him. I do not believe He meant that most important decisions should be left to Himself or to human leaders acting on His behalf. God wants us to enjoy our work just as He did.

If any of the previous has bothered you...or you may find it objectionable, I respect that. But you must understand first why I feel this way, and second where it comes from. I place my highest importance upon my relationship with God. Even though I struggle to keep it a priority in my life, it does not alter the importance I have placed upon it.

I believe that leadership begins first with serving others. By serving others, we begin to serve ourselves. There is no better example than giving. Most people enjoy giving a gift and receiving a joyous reaction from the receiver. Much more than just receiving a gift. At least thats what I truly enjoy....the giving...what i receive by giving far outweighs any gratitude I may feel for a received gift. I believe we need to practice this giving in our leadership opportunities. Allow a person to succeed...or even fail. They have been allowed to grow in the process, and we can help guide them. But not make decisions for them at the same time.

Being a leader means to provide and example, and to provide and environment for growth. And to give the opportunities for others as they need or desire. We have been programed since our first day of school to do what is told...we need to get out of the box and let our people make decisions that matter....allow them to grow from it...and allow our companies (however, or whichever it may be) to experience more success and growth because of it. And that is what will bring joy to our workplace. That is what will add meaning to otherwise meaningless tasks we find ourselves in daily.

Movie Night

So...most of you who know me, know that I'm a sap...I mean, there are few times when watching any movie where I haven't cried! We all know I'm a sucker for love stories....but last night I went the the Exorcism of Emily Rose.

I loved it...I mean it had its moments that made you jump...but towards the end of the movie, i was unexpectedly in tears. Go figure...I go to some horror flick to end of crying. but the thing is...it really wasn't that much of a horror flick, at least what I took from it. The movie is based on the story of Emily Rose; her demonic possession and the fight between good and evil taking place within her. At some point in the movie, Emily is given the opportunity to leave her body and enter into heaven or to stay on earth, knowing she would suffer greatly, but in doing so would bring others to God.

What really hits home is, I hope that if I were in a similar position, I would have the strength to do the same thing. To walk the walk...to know the outcome, something that I wouldn't want, and yet continue to endure whatever pain for the greater good...for God.

In my heart I think I could...but my head challenges my idealism.

Morals and beliefs only mean something when its inconvenient...not when convenience paves a path for them to stand upon.

Shepherdship

At Hope today, leadership was the topic... or rather shepherdship.

We are sheep, we are lost and confused without a shepherd. As a Christian I am akin to one of the dumbest animals known throughout history. Many of us are shepherds in our lives in the organizations we find ourselves a part of. I was forced to look into the mirror today, in how and why I choose to lead. To be a leader or shepherd is an extremely selfless endeavor. If (and this is where I think I have been challenged in the past, and I think is a natural struggle for those of us who strive for success) we choose to lead we must consistently bury our needs beneath those we are leading. If we are truly going to be a shepherd for others, being humble and giving are two qualities, I think are necessary. The moment it becomes about us, about a position, about trying to become an image or collect a paycheck is the moment where we become extremely limited in our ability to lead; especially as Christians. And when that purpose for leading is focused on our own endeavors, we negate all we've worked for and we begin to destroy the flock for which we oversee.

I cannot admit that I lead with this purpose all of the time. I can honestly say that as I have matured, my focus has remained upon those I've been asked to lead more often than not. That remains a challenge for me to continually keep others first. I must consistently put myself second or third or forth...

In a society where we preach to "take care of number one" we lose sight of any real purpose. Our focus becomes worldly, and we become victims of our own choices.

I have a friend whom amazes me. This friend works for a Christian organization where she is continually challenged and continually giving. Her approach and passion for true shepherdship is inspiring to me. I can only hope that when I look in the mirror every night, that when reflecting upon my day, I can say... I was a shepherd. I lead today by taking care of others. When that joy of giving envelopes me like a warm blanket, I need to refocus so that I will be allowed to repeat it again... knowing that God's work is never done.

I need to be a vehicle for His purpose.
I can only hope I have the courage and the strength to do so.