Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Rock and Roll
There is a song I have been hearing for about a year, but recently have had a different take on it. It is a good, catchy song called Rock & Roll by Eric Hutchinson. Its one of those songs that makes you want to sing along and get up dance to, but the message is pretty interesting. The chorus is:
--------------------------------------------
If they wanna rock they rock
If they wanna roll they roll
They can roll with the punches
Long as they feel like they're in control
If they wanna stay they stay
If they wanna go they go
They don’t care how they get there
Long as they get somewhere they know
--------------------------------------------
The premise of the song lies in the decisions these individuals are making are dictated by societal norms, which, really are not out of the ordinary. What caught my attention is the two lines referring to control and a place of comfort. Which, is exactly what I think most individuals do; fall into a cycle of going nowhere. A place called no-man’s-land. A place where one isn’t really happy, but they’re not really unhappy enough to do anything about it. One sits in a rut, going through a life of mediocrity not getting uncomfortable to do anything about it. And to me, I think I struggle at times with the idea of doing something, knowing I’m falling into that rut. There is a tendency to get lost in our days of punching the clock, eating dinner, making plans with friends and family for the weekend, etc. Not that we all don’t fall into familiar patterns, but I think it is the patterns that enable us to maintain a status quo that become dangerous. Sitting in that place where we find comfort but not joy puts us into a kind of trance, a full-fledged rat race that keeps us struggling with the same thing every day. As a Christian, more specifically a person who longs to continue to build a stronger relationship with God, the biggest obstacle to get over in developing that relationship is that comfort zone. That area in life allows us to believe we’re on track and doing fine. Its not until we get out of the rut that we realize the difference. So if this world is one which in many ways promotes mediocrity, how is it that we continue to strive for greatness? How do we as individuals continue to create opportunity for ourselves? What do we do to keep us from being average? Not that average is a bad thing, that isn’t the issue at all, the issue is in the not knowing. Many “average people” are able to do great things with the tools they have. The question then seems to become: how do we wake up the average person? How can we open their eyes, encourage them to take the red pill, nudging them up out of the rut? How do we do that for ourselves? How do I personally get out of the rut I find myself in from time to time?
I think the answer is in action. It lies in doing. The foundation of seeking God first, creating and building the relationship which will foster further opportunity in life. Opening the eyes of non-believers and believers alike through example. During Jesus’ time, and shortly after when Paul was bringing new believers daily to God, the biggest and most contentious individuals were believers. That in itself should say a lot about the history of religion. Knowing that, understanding that we can get lost in “feeling in control” and “getting somewhere we know” is where we as human beings get lost within certain confines. We get so tied up in our current ideas and the ideas that have been impressed upon us, that we enable ourselves to get caught up daily.
As I go forward, it is my purpose to find ways to improve upon myself daily. That involves prayer, quiet time, exercise, community, and compassion & tolerance. I believe that we all hold a purpose, and I want to believe that each and everyone of us hold within us a purpose filled life. The challenge is finding ways to wake up that dormant purpose and make it something we all can act on consciously. I think we need to do that for each other. We need to do that for our brothers and sisters in Christ, and for those who have yet to find God. To encourage greatness in each other, to nourish accomplishment through servant leadership, and to continue to come to God humbly, transparent, and honest.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Dating with a Purpose
Ang, a very good friend of mine re-posted this and I feel compelled to share. At first, when I started reading, I thought that I may have to alter it to gear it towards men, but quickly realized that it already is. For me, as a man, it wasn't so much a wake-up call, but more of an affirmation and a reminder why I don't settle... and why it is I continue to wait.
It may be similar for you. And if any of what is written below sparks any interest. I've read several books, including a few by Joshua Harris that you may find appealing.
SPIRITUAL ADVICE ON MEN (for the ladies, but men can read to)
A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one? Simple: You take only the bus that's headed in the RIGHT DIRECTION.
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?", you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and
beyond cure.
Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right directions:
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
(Proverbs 4:23). Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is in the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts:
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14). You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day today. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married.
Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the
bus & wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22). Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it:
"We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker.
Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, checkout the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complementary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have?
If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man?
Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.
Hebrews 11:1 & 6
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
It may be similar for you. And if any of what is written below sparks any interest. I've read several books, including a few by Joshua Harris that you may find appealing.
SPIRITUAL ADVICE ON MEN (for the ladies, but men can read to)
A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one? Simple: You take only the bus that's headed in the RIGHT DIRECTION.
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. "What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?", you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and
beyond cure.
Who can understand it? (Jer 17:9). The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right directions:
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
(Proverbs 4:23). Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is in the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts:
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14). You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day today. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married.
Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the
bus & wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22). Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy! Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it:
"We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker.
Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, checkout the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of
drama in his personal kingdom? broken relationships? problems in making commitments? including the job market? mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complementary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have?
If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man?
Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.
Hebrews 11:1 & 6
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Saturday, April 7, 2007
The In-between
The other night, as I'm walking into my new apartment, (not new as in just built, but new as in... recently moved) I'm interrupted by a strange man thrusting documents into my hands. As I'm telling my sister to hold on... and eventually that I'd call her back; I take the papers. And with probably a bewildered look, I'm trying to figure out why I'm holding foreclosure papers for the house that I've been renting for less than a month. The surprise of the situation, caused me to leave the keys in the door lock and walk upstairs... and after realizing there wasn't much I could do at 10:37 at night, I went to bed.
I'm finding myself lost somewhere between where I am and the place I desire to be. Where I am is not at all a bad place, but its not one that I won't ever find satisfaction... or contentment for that matter. I don't necessarily mean my living situation, but my work and the where I find myself spending time. So as I sit here, knowing that my current situation is unfavorable at best, I'm waiting to act... anticipating change that will come eventually, but trying to find the courage to bite the bullet and create that change I long for. So I sit her somewhere in the in-between waiting to pounce. Hoping that once I do, it will be a vault that will launch me somewhere great, and that the passion I have will fuel the action needed to land where I want to be.
I'm finding myself lost somewhere between where I am and the place I desire to be. Where I am is not at all a bad place, but its not one that I won't ever find satisfaction... or contentment for that matter. I don't necessarily mean my living situation, but my work and the where I find myself spending time. So as I sit here, knowing that my current situation is unfavorable at best, I'm waiting to act... anticipating change that will come eventually, but trying to find the courage to bite the bullet and create that change I long for. So I sit her somewhere in the in-between waiting to pounce. Hoping that once I do, it will be a vault that will launch me somewhere great, and that the passion I have will fuel the action needed to land where I want to be.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Haunted
yes, its true. I feel haunted. Not by ghosts or ghouls or some other super-natural being. But there seems to be a preoccupation; a continual reminder of part of my past. It is in no way in an obsessive nature, but in areas of my day to day activity, I am continually reminded of a time, of someone, of something. These reminders continually pull me back to a place I must apparently long for.
Does this happen? I mean does it happen to you?
It seems to be happening to me; where a song, a place, the weather... all take me to a place I revere. I share this question in awe of how my day continually pulls on these strings... continually challenges me and keeps me in some way thinking about the day before yesterday. Not that I'm not wanting to move on, to walk forward... I am. I am continually pressing forward... but then again... the haunting continues!
Does this happen? I mean does it happen to you?
It seems to be happening to me; where a song, a place, the weather... all take me to a place I revere. I share this question in awe of how my day continually pulls on these strings... continually challenges me and keeps me in some way thinking about the day before yesterday. Not that I'm not wanting to move on, to walk forward... I am. I am continually pressing forward... but then again... the haunting continues!
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
next best thing
I feel broken... I feel empty.... There is a longing in my soul that yearns to be fed. In my heart I know where to find the source that will satisfy, but its almost as I'm resisting--afraid of what might be. Afraid of where the road will lead. Its as if by hiding I create in my subconscious further opportunity for the earthly desires I look for. And by constructing these walls around my heart, around my head, I'm keeping myself from the growth I long for deep within myself. The growth that can only happen through complete submittal. I know this, and I'm trying to let go, to move on, to find fulfillment. But it seems that I've been granted a preview of what is to come. A taste, an idea, an opportunity to see what God has planned for me. And instead of allowing myself to prepare for His vision, I hold on---hoping that the best hasn't passed me by.
The thing is I'm not upset or angry or confused or bitter. I just am. I'm just present, patiently practicing patience, trying to stay open and prepared. but for me, right now in this moment, the next moment can't get here soon enough.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Repetition
Repetition is the mother of skill. Through practice we develop certain skills that help foster talent. But the great thing about the development process, is that we are allowed to make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with new opportunities. Opportunities that will lead to greatness...
Lately I've had to field some question on the history of my relationships. The most interesting part of this is that under quote-on-quote "normal" circumstances, these things don't necessarily come up. The question of the previous-said slash previous-feeling is somewhat new to me. And honestly I bring it on myself. Although I feel I come by it honestly, I get it. I do, I get it. How can I be sincere, how is it that certain feelings can appear repetitious? How can the excitement of something new come across in a manner that appears to be so much more?
I'll just pose one question to you before I go on. Have you ever in your experiences felt you were in love, and then in retrospect realized that it was masked by some other emotion or feeling? Or perhaps you thought you were traveling down one road only to realize you were on a completely different one, in a completely different place?
Personally, I haven't ever used the term without being in complete congruence of the definition. Even after looking back, I can honestly say that when I decided to love, it was true, it was honest. BUT, I have looked back at some relationships that I thought were headed in that direction and realized I had been fooled. I had been crawling through some desert long enough that the mirage looked real. Dramatic I know... but I think once we experience something great, we can't wait to find it again.
So... back to the issue :) I walk into anything new with fresh eyes. No lingering pain, no hesitation, no fear of getting hurt. I approach every relationship with one primary vision, and that is to view this person as a sister in Christ. And to provide the opportunity to develop into what God has planned for me. In the past, I have confused this desire for something great with the process of learning about someone. And although I hate to admit, I have made mistakes. I will always choose to fail over not trying. Can you fault me for that?
I'm starting to ramble... the point is this: I learn from my mistakes. Yes, I've said and felt things that have passed. Some faster than others. But what I am now realizing is how lack-luster those things were. Not to take any of it away from the relationship, but there is a reason those are history... and will stay that way. I've found that through self reflection and devotion, that none of this will compare to the woman God has prepared for me. What is important is that He has prepared my heart for someone special. He has done this primarily through the mistakes that I have made. I cannot regret, for it has brought me to something wonderful, something beautiful. It has brought be to today. But if I do not learn from those experiences, my wheels sit spinning.
My desire is to move forward. To grow, to be challenged, to create, to love and to be loved. I desire greatness. Greatness for myself and the person God will provide for me. Through the repetition of my failures, I have found what I have always desired. And through those mistakes God has helped shape me. He has shown me resilience and patience, and creativity in otherwise mundane circumstances. I truly believe that the 'mistakes' that I have been granted have prepared me for someone special, someone I hope to spend my life with, someone I desire to create in her all the things she provides for me...
Lately I've had to field some question on the history of my relationships. The most interesting part of this is that under quote-on-quote "normal" circumstances, these things don't necessarily come up. The question of the previous-said slash previous-feeling is somewhat new to me. And honestly I bring it on myself. Although I feel I come by it honestly, I get it. I do, I get it. How can I be sincere, how is it that certain feelings can appear repetitious? How can the excitement of something new come across in a manner that appears to be so much more?
I'll just pose one question to you before I go on. Have you ever in your experiences felt you were in love, and then in retrospect realized that it was masked by some other emotion or feeling? Or perhaps you thought you were traveling down one road only to realize you were on a completely different one, in a completely different place?
Personally, I haven't ever used the term without being in complete congruence of the definition. Even after looking back, I can honestly say that when I decided to love, it was true, it was honest. BUT, I have looked back at some relationships that I thought were headed in that direction and realized I had been fooled. I had been crawling through some desert long enough that the mirage looked real. Dramatic I know... but I think once we experience something great, we can't wait to find it again.
So... back to the issue :) I walk into anything new with fresh eyes. No lingering pain, no hesitation, no fear of getting hurt. I approach every relationship with one primary vision, and that is to view this person as a sister in Christ. And to provide the opportunity to develop into what God has planned for me. In the past, I have confused this desire for something great with the process of learning about someone. And although I hate to admit, I have made mistakes. I will always choose to fail over not trying. Can you fault me for that?
I'm starting to ramble... the point is this: I learn from my mistakes. Yes, I've said and felt things that have passed. Some faster than others. But what I am now realizing is how lack-luster those things were. Not to take any of it away from the relationship, but there is a reason those are history... and will stay that way. I've found that through self reflection and devotion, that none of this will compare to the woman God has prepared for me. What is important is that He has prepared my heart for someone special. He has done this primarily through the mistakes that I have made. I cannot regret, for it has brought me to something wonderful, something beautiful. It has brought be to today. But if I do not learn from those experiences, my wheels sit spinning.
My desire is to move forward. To grow, to be challenged, to create, to love and to be loved. I desire greatness. Greatness for myself and the person God will provide for me. Through the repetition of my failures, I have found what I have always desired. And through those mistakes God has helped shape me. He has shown me resilience and patience, and creativity in otherwise mundane circumstances. I truly believe that the 'mistakes' that I have been granted have prepared me for someone special, someone I hope to spend my life with, someone I desire to create in her all the things she provides for me...
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Three Wonderful Words
Three words. No more no less. We dance around them, we're afraid of them, yet at the same time we long to hear them. And when we do, its music to our ears. When we realize that we love someone, trying to find the best way to say it, or the right time seems to be as ever elusive as the "perfect" person. But thats what is so funny. Because when we realize we're in love, is when we realize that the person we want to tell is, well, perfect. At least perfect for us. That person that seems to balance us out, cover our weaknesses, somehow change our perspective to realize what life could be... or at least find its meaning. The thing is this: we don't love the people we love because they're perfect. We love the people we love because they are.
We say it too much, we don't say it enough, we long to hear it, we're afraid of what it could mean... all of this energy spent on trying to understand the most simple, yet most complex emotion known as love. Some people fall easy, others more guarded and spend more time trying to analize every moment, every feeling, wanting to be sure. Sometimes it passes us by, other times it slams into us like a sixteen-wheeler at full bore. There are no rules, there is no manual or how-to for love. Every story is in itself unique and its own way, amazingly breathtaking.
Real love, true love has no limits. It will wait, it will forgive, it will last for eternity. It will give everything for its survival, for its longevity, for an opportunity to grow further. Its generousity will give when it has nothing to give.... it will especially give time.
So when I think about saying those three words: I love you. For me it isn't momentary, it isn't something fleeting. its something real... its something I desire to uphold, to share, to encourage, to create...
...and to celebrate
We say it too much, we don't say it enough, we long to hear it, we're afraid of what it could mean... all of this energy spent on trying to understand the most simple, yet most complex emotion known as love. Some people fall easy, others more guarded and spend more time trying to analize every moment, every feeling, wanting to be sure. Sometimes it passes us by, other times it slams into us like a sixteen-wheeler at full bore. There are no rules, there is no manual or how-to for love. Every story is in itself unique and its own way, amazingly breathtaking.
Real love, true love has no limits. It will wait, it will forgive, it will last for eternity. It will give everything for its survival, for its longevity, for an opportunity to grow further. Its generousity will give when it has nothing to give.... it will especially give time.
So when I think about saying those three words: I love you. For me it isn't momentary, it isn't something fleeting. its something real... its something I desire to uphold, to share, to encourage, to create...
...and to celebrate
Moments
What are we defined by? Is it our accomplishments? The things that we do for others to see? Do we perform in ways in public which define us? Is it how we want to be perceived or is it something more? The more that I'm thinking about... at least I'm beginning to think it is are much smaller moments. Moments of truth, behind the doors away from those we want to impress, in the shadows where we are most vulnerable, to those who know us, or those we want to know us. The look in someone's eye. Their breath on your neck. The way you feel when the one you love smiles. These small seemingly unimpressive moments define who we shall be. Away from the cameras and out of the spotlight. Celebrity in a lot of ways is fictional. It is the mask for the general public to buy into or at the very least to believe in. And I know there are some extremely wonderful leaders with great renown... but that all started with something small. Some momentary truth to guide them. A commitment to an idea or vision, the realization that by themselves they stand still... that no man is an island. What are those defining moments? What do we expect of ourselves? What sparks the growth? The challenge? The motivation?
I realized close to ten years ago that I had a desire to be seen a certain way. For example; I wanted others to see me as "a good christian boy". So, I would choose to read my bible where others could see me... and not only that, but where they would have to see me. I came to terms that what I was doing and what I was portraying were contradicting. And at that moment, decided that any time in study would be behind closed doors--to ensure that my purpose was not jaded. That was hard for me to do... because growing up, so much of what you want is to be perceived one way or another.
I've approached my relationships the same way. Knowing I want true love, I will not settle or allow mediocrity. It takes a lot for me to face the truth about a relationship, and realize whether its "good for now" or really 'the one". There is comfort in companionship; in having someone by your side. I've had to really dig deep when faced with a comfortable-companion vs. the-love-of-my-life-that-will-take-me-places-never-imagined.
So what moments really define us? I think its the small, little, unannounced moments that take us places we want to be. It's the decisions we make behind closed doors that make us extraordinary and one to be reckoned with. It's the moment when you look into a lover's eyes and know without saying that there is no other place in the world you'd rather be. I know what moments make or break my day---little does it have to do with perception. The make or break happens in the congruency of my reflection. It happens when I look into the eyes of the person I admire most. When I see a smile of someone I long for. These are the moments worth living... They are the definition of who we are and what we value.
I realized close to ten years ago that I had a desire to be seen a certain way. For example; I wanted others to see me as "a good christian boy". So, I would choose to read my bible where others could see me... and not only that, but where they would have to see me. I came to terms that what I was doing and what I was portraying were contradicting. And at that moment, decided that any time in study would be behind closed doors--to ensure that my purpose was not jaded. That was hard for me to do... because growing up, so much of what you want is to be perceived one way or another.
I've approached my relationships the same way. Knowing I want true love, I will not settle or allow mediocrity. It takes a lot for me to face the truth about a relationship, and realize whether its "good for now" or really 'the one". There is comfort in companionship; in having someone by your side. I've had to really dig deep when faced with a comfortable-companion vs. the-love-of-my-life-that-will-take-me-places-never-imagined.
So what moments really define us? I think its the small, little, unannounced moments that take us places we want to be. It's the decisions we make behind closed doors that make us extraordinary and one to be reckoned with. It's the moment when you look into a lover's eyes and know without saying that there is no other place in the world you'd rather be. I know what moments make or break my day---little does it have to do with perception. The make or break happens in the congruency of my reflection. It happens when I look into the eyes of the person I admire most. When I see a smile of someone I long for. These are the moments worth living... They are the definition of who we are and what we value.
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Moon
"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." - Buddha Have you ever spent much time thinking about the...
