action

Its not whether you love someone, everyone loves someone and that doesn't change anything. Its in your actions. What you feel only matters to you. its what you do for the people you say you love. That's what matters, that is the only thing that counts. In how you honor the one you love. How you will do what it takes... not giving up and letting the chips fall where they lay. Being honest, having courage, resisting temptation, getting up, showing integrity, bearing congruency and being willing to forgive. These are steps, these are challenges. It requires that we look away from the mirror and on to something else... someone else.

Rocky

Last week I went to Rocky Balboa, When I was watching it, I couldn't help but think about Sly's real story. It is the story of Rocky. In the movie, Rocky is telling his son about how Life will beat you down, how it will continue to hit you hard to keep you there. And no-matter how hard life cuts you down you just have to keep getting up. And through that process, you will find out what you're made of and who you really are.
Throughout this movie, i was thinking of Sly's story. Most of you probably already know that he wrote Rocky. But did you know where the story came from and how it came about?
Sly, who always wanted to be an actor, was living in NY at the time. He wanted to act more than anything. He was so persistent that he had visited the agent's offices around NY six and seven times each. He finally got his first acting job because he wouldn't leave the guys office. After sitting all day waiting, he persisted in staying the night... he wasn't going to move without leaving with something. Well... the guy came back to the office the next day and gave him a job. He was in a movie for less than thirty seconds where he got beat up. If that isn't a sign of not being wanted I don't know what is... but Sly knew what he wanted. He knew his outcome. throughout this process, he was broke. He had no money and refused to get a job because he felt it would take away his hunger for achieving his dream. It got so bad, that he actually hawked his wife's jewelry... which inevitably was the end of their marriage. But the lowest point was when he had to try and sell his dog- His best friend in the world. He stood outside a liquor store trying to sell him, he couldn't take care of himself let alone his dog. Finally a guy offered him $20 for the dog. Sly didn't have much of a choice and took it.
Shortly after that, he's at home watching a fight between Muhammad Ali and some white guy named Wepner. Ali was beating this guy down, but Wepner just kept coming back, taking blow after blow, refusing to go down. He got an idea and started writing. He wrote Rocky in three days. He then started to try and get the movie produced. No one wanted it, they said it was too sappy, wasn't real, no one would want to see it... but Sly persisted. Finally he found two guys who loved the script and offered to buy it from him. But there was a catch, Sly wasn't selling the script without Him being the main character, Rocky. After much debate, they made a final offer of over two-hundred thousand dollars for him not to star in his own movie. Thats a lot of money for anyone, but we're talking about a guy who is practically living on the street, who frequents libraries just to stay warm. A guy who had to sell his best friend for twenty bucks so he could eat. Sly's response: not without me, I'm Rocky. So finally, they agreed and offered him $35,000 and points in the movie for him to play Rocky. So what do you think Sly did after that? He went back to the liquor store and hoped that the guy who he sold his dog to frequented the store. After three days, the guy came walking in. After the guy refused, because he liked the dog and it was his now... Sly continued to up the ante... and he wasn't going to stop until he got his dog. Sly ended up paying the guy $15,000 and a part in the movie to get his dog back. Pretty cool huh? It gets better... after they won the oscar for best picture, in his acceptance speech, Sly read what all the critics had said about the script, and why it wouldn't make it. Talk about sweet revenge... or karma... take your pick.

So as I was watching Rocky Balboa the other day, all I was thinking about was the trial and tribulation it took for Sly to get what he wanted. How I felt like I was watching in a lot of ways, an autobiography.

The next day I watched Invincible. (do you think I was needing some motivation?)
What I found interesting about these two stories (Sly and Vince) is that they both used the negative critic to achieve. That they were driven by the non-believers. They both had their support groups (Vince and his bar buddies, and Sly and his dog), but used the negative as fuel to create something positive.

As I sit here today, I don't know what my life will bring, but I hope that I can have a fraction of the drive, motivation, integrity, loyalty, humbleness and courage that these two individuals have shown. And regardless where I end up, I know that my path will be built on character. It will be God-willing, and I will be gracious in my endeavors. I just need the courage to continue to get back up after each life-altering blow I may receive.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Its a time to rejoice, a time with family, a time of year where the world pauses, if only for a moment, to celebrate the birth of Christ.

this year, as I removed myself from the chaos and distractions of all that goes on this holiday season, I realized that today really isn't completely about Jesus at all. Its about us. It is about you and I. Jesus was and continues to be our gift, our promise from God. We are His children, and as John 3:16 states, He gave us His son, so that we could have eternal life. How the familiarity of that verse becomes amazingly mundane, but still rings true with excitement.

Think of it this way. Although I don't have any children in my family at the moment, I did have an opportunity to see it through my work...just a glimpse... but.. Think about when you celebrate Christmas with young children. If you were to ask any young child what they're excited about, what would their response be? They look forward to the presents. They get excited about the packaging, tearing it off with anticipation just to see what hides beneath. And you can just see the excitement exuded from them. Its infectious... and it gives us, the giver, joy to see that. God is our giver, and we are the young children receiving the gift. He delights in giving to His children... He gets the ultimate reward in giving, and we get everlasting life through the sacrifice of His son.

Today, as I celebrate the birth of our Savior, I lift up a praise of thanks for this wonderful gift I've been given.

Merry Christmas!

Only a Man

I love this song. I can't stop listening to it. And well... a repost is in order. I hope you enjoy the lyrics as much as I do.

I used to live my life in fear, was worried all the time
From waking up to lying down, I had no peace of mind.
The world became a darkened place, a struggle without end
Although bitter times those were, the days that I became to understand
I was only a man

I grew up singing songs in church with questions in my mind
And turned my back and ran away from God who gave me light
Then one night, his presence fell, I wept and shook and then
I fell down and cried dear Jesus rescue me again
I understand I am only a man

And He said:

What will it be now?
Will you choose me or keep swimming upstream now?
I've been inside your head hearing you scream out
Well here I am just take my hand and
I'll take out all of the pain and all of the fear
All of the fear

I give you my burdens

I'll give you peace

All of my desires

I'll give you what you need.

And what about these chains Lord

I'll set you free

But they're so heavy

Lay them at my feet.

I'll lay them at Your feet
Just promise You won't leave

I'll never leave

So where do I go from here Lord?

Just follow me, Just follow me.

I'll follow You, wherever You lead
Wherever You lead..

Stillness

I sit here. I'm forcing myself to sit here, to think, to reflect, to try and have it make sense. I don't want to. What I want to do is something else, anything else. I want something to do or I want nothing. Its odd, how when you're required to face something you didn't think was going to happen -- you have two desires. How opposite those things are, one is to fill your day with so much that you don't think about it, the other, to sit and do absolutely nothing. Create emptiness, because for some reason it's the only thing that makes sense. I'm choosing to do what's uncomfortable. I sit here in reflection, understanding that its just a bend in the road, that the song isn't over. I'm hoping that this pause will only last a moment -- because in the moment I'm currently living in, it already feels too long.

"...sigh..."

Time, I shake my fist at you because you've seem to have gotten the better of me. I beat you once, I forced your hand... and you stopped. That day was mine. This day belongs to you. I submit to you with grace. With that I accept your challenge. I will wait for the right moment... perhaps after the strike of midnight, I will find a glass slipper, but tonight... tonight is not that night.

Tonight, however, is that bend in the road which becomes a corner I must take. It will be a turn in the right direction. That direction is up. You don't find 'up" on a compass, its not north, but directly up... heavenly up. Its amusing that we must find the foundation of which we stand above us. But He is my rock, my... everything. I know in my heart, He holds the interests of the ones I Care so much about, as well as my own... above all earthly things. He has a way of taking the worldly desire out of focus... and bringing the lens back to Him. Tonight he does this with the emphasis on improvement, the emphasis on taking a step towards Him. I do this without hesitation.

Tomorrow I will begin to wait. In honor, in respect, in reverence, and in love. I will wait because He has provided a trailer for the real thing. I've been given a preview of what may come. So I wait, oddly enough with a sense of urgency. I wait because it is His will... and waiting is an opportunity grow, to prepare, and to love.

I will be still.

Influence

As a personal trainer, it became very clear to me that for my client to be successful, he or she needed a strong social support system. This system would have to reinforce my clients goals and desires through continued motivation for perseverance. What I witnessed more often than not, was that the system that was in place actually provided the opposite of what was needed. That social system that appeared to be encouraging in the beginning, reeled its head and became an area of destruction. After giving it further thought, I came to the understanding that fear was keeping this support system from being supportive.

there is an aspect within our social stratosphere that keeps us from growing. Many individuals will keep from making a decision that benefits them greatly, because it will have considerable affect on their social environment. Through development and growth or by success we will enter into new social systems. Either by default, or by choice. Whether that is a perceived development or actual, at this level, it really doesn't matter. This is an active choice we make, because we desire something greater. the other, which has the same actions or tools in which we find our vehicle for success has another twist. We all of the sudden have a lack of support system. Our closest friends, the ones we share our lives with will show a lack of support. Sometimes by steering us in another direction through guilt, other times by just slowly removing themselves from the picture. the kicker is this: the message is sent telling us its our fault. because WE'RE changing, and because I MAKE THE DECISION which will in my eyes better my life, my situation, etc, etc... I am at fault for the failing social relationship.

People (in general) are afraid of change, afraid of the unknown. If someone close to me is embarking on an amazing journey of self-discovery. I may be afraid that their discovery won't involve me. My fear resonates with the unknown possibility of me being taken out of the picture. All of the sudden my world is changing, and I don't want it to change.

I believe this happens because of the comfort we find ourselves in, and a selfish outlook of oneself. I wouldn't ever discourage someone from following their heart, their desires because it might mean that I would see them less, or because they would be less involved in my life. but people do. I would not stand in the way of success because I care first for the person and second for myself. Why should I hinder growth. why should I not be happy and encourage someone for striving for greatness.
It happens because in this world we live in, we are selfish. We look out for number one, we find ways to cut corners, to get ahead regardless of who we hurt or who makes the sacrifices for us. Why should I care? I mean really... C'mon... they made the decision, if I can benefit from it, why don't I? I deserve this or that... I want this...

We get so focused on our own wants, our own worldly things that when someone else succeeds we feel that it should have been us. that is why, when we have a friend who is successful, we celebrate in part because we want them to celebrate our successes. Its and interesting world we live in.

How can we be more selfless. How can we be more giving, more supporting? More challenging of the ones we love? By stepping away from the mirror, and washing ourselves from the selfishness that emanates within ourselves we can begin to give. I will always strive to support and honor and challenge and celebrate without hesitancy. Those of you who know me, know this through and through...Not that I won't make mistakes, or I won't struggle from time to time... but I expect that you will hold me accountable for my actions and my motives as I will challenge all of you to do the same.