Repetition

Repetition is the mother of skill. Through practice we develop certain skills that help foster talent. But the great thing about the development process, is that we are allowed to make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with new opportunities. Opportunities that will lead to greatness...

Lately I've had to field some question on the history of my relationships. The most interesting part of this is that under quote-on-quote "normal" circumstances, these things don't necessarily come up. The question of the previous-said slash previous-feeling is somewhat new to me. And honestly I bring it on myself. Although I feel I come by it honestly, I get it. I do, I get it. How can I be sincere, how is it that certain feelings can appear repetitious? How can the excitement of something new come across in a manner that appears to be so much more?

I'll just pose one question to you before I go on. Have you ever in your experiences felt you were in love, and then in retrospect realized that it was masked by some other emotion or feeling? Or perhaps you thought you were traveling down one road only to realize you were on a completely different one, in a completely different place?

Personally, I haven't ever used the term without being in complete congruence of the definition. Even after looking back, I can honestly say that when I decided to love, it was true, it was honest. BUT, I have looked back at some relationships that I thought were headed in that direction and realized I had been fooled. I had been crawling through some desert long enough that the mirage looked real. Dramatic I know... but I think once we experience something great, we can't wait to find it again.

So... back to the issue :) I walk into anything new with fresh eyes. No lingering pain, no hesitation, no fear of getting hurt. I approach every relationship with one primary vision, and that is to view this person as a sister in Christ. And to provide the opportunity to develop into what God has planned for me. In the past, I have confused this desire for something great with the process of learning about someone. And although I hate to admit, I have made mistakes. I will always choose to fail over not trying. Can you fault me for that?

I'm starting to ramble... the point is this: I learn from my mistakes. Yes, I've said and felt things that have passed. Some faster than others. But what I am now realizing is how lack-luster those things were. Not to take any of it away from the relationship, but there is a reason those are history... and will stay that way. I've found that through self reflection and devotion, that none of this will compare to the woman God has prepared for me. What is important is that He has prepared my heart for someone special. He has done this primarily through the mistakes that I have made. I cannot regret, for it has brought me to something wonderful, something beautiful. It has brought be to today. But if I do not learn from those experiences, my wheels sit spinning.

My desire is to move forward. To grow, to be challenged, to create, to love and to be loved. I desire greatness. Greatness for myself and the person God will provide for me. Through the repetition of my failures, I have found what I have always desired. And through those mistakes God has helped shape me. He has shown me resilience and patience, and creativity in otherwise mundane circumstances. I truly believe that the 'mistakes' that I have been granted have prepared me for someone special, someone I hope to spend my life with, someone I desire to create in her all the things she provides for me...

Where We Go From Here...

"Anger and Resentment can stop you in your tracks. It needs nothing to burn but the air and the life it swallows and smothers. Its real though...the fury... even when it isn't, it can change you, turn you, mold you and shape you into someone you're not.

The only upside to Anger then, is the person you become. Hopefully, someone that wakes up someday and realizes they're not afraid of its journey. Someone that knows the truth is at best a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and fits. And in its wake, leaves a new chance at acceptance, and the promise of calm..." ~The Upside of Anger

In tough times of life we find what we are really made of.
Isn't it interesting how we seem to grow most from and learn most from our so called failures. We may see them as a step backwards, but God may see it as a step in the direction he'd like us to be. We get angry, upset, and experience a flurry of mixed emotions. We are challenged. We are challenged by ourselves and those we interact with. I've experienced little anger...in fact, a little is still lingering, however, I think its helped me to realize some things. . . .

The trial is a test of your faith, character, and endurance.
This adversity has dropped in my lap to challenge me, strengthen me, sharpen me, keep me fresh...keep me alive and active and growing. It is pushing me to be my best...to test my faith, character, and endurance. This is an opportunity for promotion. Without the resistance of air, an eagle can't soar. Without the resistance of water, a ship can't float. Without the resistance of gravity, I can't even walk.

Adversity often pushes us into our divine destiny.

Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Leadership

As I dive further and further into my own leadership style...if you would like to call it that...I'm learning that the deeper I dive, the more I must rely on God. What I mean is, that He has shown us time and time again what leadership is and should be, and how our work is affected by it. For example, the Bible does not give priorities on the various types of stewardship or work. In fact, most of the heroes in the Bible are people called to secular vocation. To piggy back on the writings of Dennis Bakke, he highlights a few things in terms of our work: (1) in seeking holiness and honoring God, we are called both to steward resources to serve people's physical needs and also to spread the story of redemption and other teachings of Jesus. While we as church goers may place an emphasis on evangelical association, little evidence bears that this is a higher calling than the work of managing his creation. (2) Nothing is more important than a person's coming into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. (3) Being called to work in a secular organization is no better or worse than being called to work in a church, a para-church org. or an institution run by Christians. God may call us to work for Him in any of these settings, regardless of our occupation and particular talents. (4) If I see my work as a mission for God, my attitude and behavior at work are likely to change in a markedly positive way.

People often shift into positions of "sacred" from "secular" by operating their own nurseries, schools, social services, and charities. By doing so, they are inadvertently aiding those who would keep the church out of the public square. They should be encouraged to switch back or to maintain their position in these secular schools and companies where their faith may have a bigger impact.

"give something back" is another phrase thrown around by business leaders. It is a concept as flawed as "success to significance." Giving something back assumes I took something I should have while working. Certainly this would not be the case if I saw my business as God intended it, a stewardship ministry to serve the needs of others and, in the process, my needs as well. Stewarding resources to meet needs of others is a legitimate "giving" activity. "giving back" is relevant only if I have misappropriated and mismanaged the resources I have been given to steward.

The creation story does not assign people, even leaders, the responsibility of "managing" other people. The Bible says that people are to have dominion over the animals and plants. It encourages humans to act as stewards for the world we live in. It does not, however, encourage us to dominate other people. It never classifies people as "resources." The Bible does endorse leadership. What is the difference? Biblical leadership requires those in authority to serve the people they lead. Leaders do whatever it takes to allow followers to use their talents effectively. Thus, good leaders delegate decisions and create an environment in which others can manage God's world. God allowed human kind ot make the ultimate decision of life. He gave us the choice to acknowledge and follow God or to reject Him. We were created in God's likeness as moral beings with the ability to reason, make decisions, and be held responsible for the consequences.

So...how does this all transfer into organizational decisions in the "secular" world? This is very difficult to understand. There is a dilemma of a leader who, on one hand, is given authority over the entire organization and, on the other, is supposed to refrain from making decisions that others in the organization can make. Leaders do have the authority to make all decisions and direct all actions. Leaders are responsible for all that goes on within the organization. There is, however, no requirement that leaders make all or even most of the decisions for which they have authority. God could certainly control His creation through micromanagement, but he chose to delegate most decisions to us. Where God tends to take action is on matters of morality and questions of right and wrong. Shouldn't we follow His lead when we decide which decisions to make and which to delegate? God created humans in His image. We are to be creators like Him. I do not believe He meant that most important decisions should be left to Himself or to human leaders acting on His behalf. God wants us to enjoy our work just as He did.

If any of the previous has bothered you...or you may find it objectionable, I respect that. But you must understand first why I feel this way, and second where it comes from. I place my highest importance upon my relationship with God. Even though I struggle to keep it a priority in my life, it does not alter the importance I have placed upon it.

I believe that leadership begins first with serving others. By serving others, we begin to serve ourselves. There is no better example than giving. Most people enjoy giving a gift and receiving a joyous reaction from the receiver. Much more than just receiving a gift. At least thats what I truly enjoy....the giving...what i receive by giving far outweighs any gratitude I may feel for a received gift. I believe we need to practice this giving in our leadership opportunities. Allow a person to succeed...or even fail. They have been allowed to grow in the process, and we can help guide them. But not make decisions for them at the same time.

Being a leader means to provide and example, and to provide and environment for growth. And to give the opportunities for others as they need or desire. We have been programed since our first day of school to do what is told...we need to get out of the box and let our people make decisions that matter....allow them to grow from it...and allow our companies (however, or whichever it may be) to experience more success and growth because of it. And that is what will bring joy to our workplace. That is what will add meaning to otherwise meaningless tasks we find ourselves in daily.

Movie Night

So...most of you who know me, know that I'm a sap...I mean, there are few times when watching any movie where I haven't cried! We all know I'm a sucker for love stories....but last night I went the the Exorcism of Emily Rose.

I loved it...I mean it had its moments that made you jump...but towards the end of the movie, i was unexpectedly in tears. Go figure...I go to some horror flick to end of crying. but the thing is...it really wasn't that much of a horror flick, at least what I took from it. The movie is based on the story of Emily Rose; her demonic possession and the fight between good and evil taking place within her. At some point in the movie, Emily is given the opportunity to leave her body and enter into heaven or to stay on earth, knowing she would suffer greatly, but in doing so would bring others to God.

What really hits home is, I hope that if I were in a similar position, I would have the strength to do the same thing. To walk the walk...to know the outcome, something that I wouldn't want, and yet continue to endure whatever pain for the greater good...for God.

In my heart I think I could...but my head challenges my idealism.

Morals and beliefs only mean something when its inconvenient...not when convenience paves a path for them to stand upon.

Brown Penny

"Romantic" by definition is "imaginary but impractical, visionary". . . has romance left the scene, is it something that is often referred to in a past tense, something not of this age? Is it something in this day in age where any gesture would fall under ridicule simply because the mere impression of it lacks integrity or is it that we are so caught up in our day to day business...that we fail to enjoy the simple things we so easily overlook. I'm thinking of this in a very broad sense of course, however, I would consider myself a person who may fall within this category. I sometimes I wonder if the current day has catered so much to the immediate gratification that some of the magic has been lost.

I'm beginning to wonder if this rant has a point....

...honestly I don't know...should it? What I do know is things don't seem as simple as they once were. We live in a cynical world so full of "HR" the mere idea of the possibility of offending people seems to ruffle so many feathers that rarely are any chances taken. I don't want to send the impression that the HR portion of our world in useless or not needed...it is. But what I'm getting to is that the world that has so many possibilities...so much "vision," a place where impractical becomes reality...that often times we don't take chances..we don't step outside our box. We hesitate, we don't say what we mean. We keep it inside. Romance often leads to the stepping out...the chances we take...especially when it comes to love.

It seems that we can't truly experience what love has to offer unless we first experience the hurt, and at the same time allow ourselves to heal so that we can begin the journey once more. Or, we seem to time and time again sabotage those relationships that could mean something because of a fear. Because it may be too good to be true.

I whispered, "i am too young,"
and then, "I am old enough;"
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love

"Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair."
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love.

Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Shepherdship

At Hope today, leadership was the topic... or rather shepherdship.

We are sheep, we are lost and confused without a shepherd. As a Christian I am akin to one of the dumbest animals known throughout history. Many of us are shepherds in our lives in the organizations we find ourselves a part of. I was forced to look into the mirror today, in how and why I choose to lead. To be a leader or shepherd is an extremely selfless endeavor. If (and this is where I think I have been challenged in the past, and I think is a natural struggle for those of us who strive for success) we choose to lead we must consistently bury our needs beneath those we are leading. If we are truly going to be a shepherd for others, being humble and giving are two qualities, I think are necessary. The moment it becomes about us, about a position, about trying to become an image or collect a paycheck is the moment where we become extremely limited in our ability to lead; especially as Christians. And when that purpose for leading is focused on our own endeavors, we negate all we've worked for and we begin to destroy the flock for which we oversee.

I cannot admit that I lead with this purpose all of the time. I can honestly say that as I have matured, my focus has remained upon those I've been asked to lead more often than not. That remains a challenge for me to continually keep others first. I must consistently put myself second or third or forth...

In a society where we preach to "take care of number one" we lose sight of any real purpose. Our focus becomes worldly, and we become victims of our own choices.

I have a friend whom amazes me. This friend works for a Christian organization where she is continually challenged and continually giving. Her approach and passion for true shepherdship is inspiring to me. I can only hope that when I look in the mirror every night, that when reflecting upon my day, I can say... I was a shepherd. I lead today by taking care of others. When that joy of giving envelopes me like a warm blanket, I need to refocus so that I will be allowed to repeat it again... knowing that God's work is never done.

I need to be a vehicle for His purpose.
I can only hope I have the courage and the strength to do so.