Saturday, December 9, 2006

Influence


As a personal trainer, it became very clear to me that for my client to be successful, he or she needed a strong social support system. This system would have to reinforce my clients goals and desires through continued motivation for perseverance. What I witnessed more often than not, was that the system that was in place actually provided the opposite of what was needed. That social system that appeared to be encouraging in the beginning, reeled its head and became an area of destruction. After giving it further thought, I came to the understanding that fear was keeping this support system from being supportive.

there is an aspect within our social stratosphere that keeps us from growing. Many individuals will keep from making a decision that benefits them greatly, because it will have considerable affect on their social environment. Through development and growth or by success we will enter into new social systems. Either by default, or by choice. Whether that is a perceived development or actual, at this level, it really doesn't matter. This is an active choice we make, because we desire something greater. the other, which has the same actions or tools in which we find our vehicle for success has another twist. We all of the sudden have a lack of support system. Our closest friends, the ones we share our lives with will show a lack of support. Sometimes by steering us in another direction through guilt, other times by just slowly removing themselves from the picture. the kicker is this: the message is sent telling us its our fault. because WE'RE changing, and because I MAKE THE DECISION which will in my eyes better my life, my situation, etc, etc... I am at fault for the failing social relationship.

People (in general) are afraid of change, afraid of the unknown. If someone close to me is embarking on an amazing journey of self-discovery. I may be afraid that their discovery won't involve me. My fear resonates with the unknown possibility of me being taken out of the picture. All of the sudden my world is changing, and I don't want it to change.

I believe this happens because of the comfort we find ourselves in, and a selfish outlook of oneself. I wouldn't ever discourage someone from following their heart, their desires because it might mean that I would see them less, or because they would be less involved in my life. but people do. I would not stand in the way of success because I care first for the person and second for myself. Why should I hinder growth. why should I not be happy and encourage someone for striving for greatness.
It happens because in this world we live in, we are selfish. We look out for number one, we find ways to cut corners, to get ahead regardless of who we hurt or who makes the sacrifices for us. Why should I care? I mean really... C'mon... they made the decision, if I can benefit from it, why don't I? I deserve this or that... I want this...

We get so focused on our own wants, our own worldly things that when someone else succeeds we feel that it should have been us. that is why, when we have a friend who is successful, we celebrate in part because we want them to celebrate our successes. Its and interesting world we live in.

How can we be more selfless. How can we be more giving, more supporting? More challenging of the ones we love? By stepping away from the mirror, and washing ourselves from the selfishness that emanates within ourselves we can begin to give. I will always strive to support and honor and challenge and celebrate without hesitancy. Those of you who know me, know this through and through...Not that I won't make mistakes, or I won't struggle from time to time... but I expect that you will hold me accountable for my actions and my motives as I will challenge all of you to do the same.

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"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~Helen Keller