Haunted

yes, its true. I feel haunted. Not by ghosts or ghouls or some other super-natural being. But there seems to be a preoccupation; a continual reminder of part of my past. It is in no way in an obsessive nature, but in areas of my day to day activity, I am continually reminded of a time, of someone, of something. These reminders continually pull me back to a place I must apparently long for.

Does this happen? I mean does it happen to you?

It seems to be happening to me; where a song, a place, the weather... all take me to a place I revere. I share this question in awe of how my day continually pulls on these strings... continually challenges me and keeps me in some way thinking about the day before yesterday. Not that I'm not wanting to move on, to walk forward... I am. I am continually pressing forward... but then again... the haunting continues!

Admittance

It is becoming more and more clear to me that my life is in some way beginning to be defined by the opposite sex. Currently, I work with mostly women and soon I will have three women as roommates; but the latest installment of this saga has to do with a team of eighth grade girls.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my eighth grade basketball team, or should I say former basketball team of girls. The season has come to a close. Another chapter of coaching has been played out. This season had its challenges and frustrations for me... but it also had its surprises.

I was surprised by the gratitude of the parents... the respect and the support they provided me with was something that could not be measured. I was surprised to see how certain players developed. (Even though I never knew what I might be walking into every
practice---each one was different, each provided unique challenges... each one provided further insight into a teenage girl; but I must preface this with: I still remain clueless.)

And yesterday, after all was said and done, I was surprised with some tears. Tears from a few players... as I listened, I felt my own tears welling up. As these eighth grade girls blubbered on about how I was the best coach they've had (in their short career I must add). And how I would be missed, and how the end wasn't wanted. I was taken back. Of all things, the things that were said were most unexpected. I was (for a moment) at a loss for words. Not that I should be completely surprised, I mean, I still have some of my the guys I coached in college contacting me regularly. I don't think that any of them would ever utter the same words that these few girls did, but... Know that I held back my tears as best as I could... Could you imagine a group of girls and a twenty-something male in tears after a basketball game with their parents onlooking?!? The thought of it still produces a smile!



All of this brings me to the further realization that we can never fully comprehend the impact we have on another. As brief or as engaged a relationship or interaction may be, the relational
reciprocation of the waves that may follow cannot be conceived; and we will never have the ability to quantify the range of our own impressions.